Yeh chirag bujh rahein hain,
Yeh chirag bujh rahein hain …
Mere saath jalte jalte…
Her lyrical longing in Pakeezah, in tandem with composer Ghulam Mohammed’s frenzied tabla, solely to be silenced by a practice whistling via the night time, might nicely be the metaphor of Meena Kumari’s life … and maybe dying. Tragedienne on display screen, mimic in actual life. Poetess in pursuit of affection or masochist celebrating ache? Mahjabeen to household, Manju to husband Kamal Amrohi and Meena Kumari to hundreds of thousands, the actress continues to stay an enigma.
‘Roses and good-looking males couldn’t take away her tragedies’
– SAWAN KUMAR TAK (filmmaker and ex-lover)
I used to be in my early 20s after I wrote the story of Gomti Ke Kinare. My filmmaker buddy, B N Sharma, believed solely Meena Kumari might do justice to it. She was an enormous star however I dared to name her up. Her sister Khursheed Apa picked up the cellphone. I instructed her I had produced Naunihaal (1967) and the Maharashtra Authorities had conferred an award on it.
I used to be requested to come back over. Meenaji was shocked to see a younger boy narrating the story. She agreed to do the movie on the situation that I’d direct it.
She recommended I signal debutant Sameer Khan (brother of Sanjay Khan). I gave him Rs 101 as token. Meenaji spoke to Mumtaz for the feminine lead and she or he agreed. The track Aaj to meri hansi udaayi was recorded. I accomplished half the movie inside six months. Meenaji was very pleased with the rushes. However after that she fell sick and every little thing collapsed. I began the movie in 1968 and it was launched in 1972. So you possibly can think about the delay!
However I had grown connected to her. One night time she took me to her bed room. She had the picture of a tragedy queen however was the truth is an awesome mimic. I couldn’t cease laughing on the tales she narrated. She then unfold rose petals on her mattress and went to sleep. I sat on the carpet and slept resting my head on the mattress. After I got here out of the room subsequent morning, Khursheed Apa requested me satirically, “Did you sleep nicely?” It was pure for anyone to misconstrue.
After that I began shopping for her flowers on daily basis. I used to be spending Rs 300 each day. She liked adorning the flowers in Ikebana model. The petals, she would strew on the mattress. Her well being was however deteriorating (she was affected by cirrhosis of the liver). She would vomit blood. I’d take it in my arms, wipe her face and put her to sleep. Her household can be quick asleep. My relationship along with her had became unsiyat (worship). It had gone above romance and intercourse. It was a ruhani ishq (non secular love). I used to be in my ’20s whereas she was in her late ’30s. However I did’nt really feel the age distinction. She was my world.
As soon as she checked out me intently and stated, “You’re the first individual in whom I’ve seen God. You accumulate the blood I vomit in your arms. Not as soon as do you present displeasure. No one has ever performed this for me — neither my sisters, nor my pals nor those that liked me. My bedsheet would get stained; I’d change it myself.”
I additionally requested her about her link-ups. She stated, “They’re like books on the shelf of my life. These I discovered attention-grabbing I learn time and again. These I didn’t, I put again. You’re the final guide I’m studying.”
I suppose, Meenaji as a toddler felt uncared for as Khursheed Apa was a star and all consideration was showered on her. However when Baiju Bawra turned a success, there was no trying again. She met Kamal Amrohi, a profitable filmmaker, and married him. Then some variations developed between them and she or he left him. However she by no means spoke towards him. She would affectionately name him Chandan. Kamal sahab, Ashok Kumar, Rajendra Kumar and Dharmendra, would all come to see her throughout her sickness.
Coming again to Gomti Ke Kinare, we had stopped capturing due to her poor well being. Sooner or later I instructed her, “Due to the delay I’ve exhausted all of the funds.” She stated, ‘Don’t fear.” I wanted one and half lakh rupees. After 5 to 6 days, she gave me the quantity saying, “I’m not supplying you with charity. You possibly can return the cash.” Later, I got here to know that she had bought her bungalow in Bandra to Mumtaz to present me that cash. She would maintain insisting, “Capturing karo, I’ll go away.” We started capturing. I’d maintain her and duck down when the lights went on. When the final shot was canned, all people clapped and threw flowers. We even celebrated her birthday on the set. We stopped her automotive on the gate and requested her to stroll to the set. The trail was strewn with flowers. We even acquired a cake. She was 41 however she blushed like a woman.
After Pakeezah launched we went to see it at Regal cinema. She might hardly stroll. I attempted holding her however she stated, “Don’t maintain me, I can stroll.” Quickly she was hospitalised for the final time. She requested for me and stated, “I first skilled love on the terrace of my residence (referring to her first relationship). That was when life had simply begun. Now when I’m going, I’ve discovered love once more. Don’t remain away from me.”
However medical doctors wouldn’t permit me to see her. I as soon as footed the invoice of Rs 15,000. I bought my Normal automotive for this. She died just a few weeks after that. I gave her kandha (shouldered her coffin). Meenaji confronted a lot heartbreak in her life. Roses and good-looking males couldn’t take away her tragedies.